when the scheming advisor is exposed and detained and yells at the guards to unhand him thats actually a pretty reasonable response. up until like two minutes ago that wouldve just worked.
you don’t gotta tell me to boycott the Nintendo prices by not buying bc i don’t have the money to get them anyways
‘guys don’t spend 600-700 dollars on the new nintendo products to send a message’ im way ahead of you man
I love telling people that Gary gygax was a biological essentialist because they always are so reticent to believe it. Like. he literally proudly said it out loud. Also have you ever actually read D&D? like. 3/4ths of everything is ontologically evil from birth
"As a biological determinist, I am positive that most females do not play RPGs because of a difference in brain function" - Gary Gygax
the funniest part about this quote is that if I’m remembering right he was talking about his wife and daughter not wanting to play D&D with him
He wrote this in 2005. I note this because if he'd written it in 1974, it could have been bigotry fueled by simple lack of imagination and basic self-awareness ("I haven't personally seen a woman having a good time in my RPG groups, therefore women can't do that"), but in 2005 it was fueled by STAGGERING amounts of selective blindness and willful ignorance ("by now I've most definitely seen women having a good time playing RPGs, and quite a lot of them, but my brain just. refuses to register it"). It's an intellectual trainwreck and I'm fascinated by it, the same way some people can't look away from the blood and gore of actual trainwrecks.
Like all biological determinists, Gary took his subjective experiance and presumed it was natural law.
In this instance, it was the fact that women didn't want to play with him and his friends.
Every so often I'll watch one of those "actually, d&d SUCKS" videos to self flagellate myself look for for genuine critique/unique game design perspectives and more often than not I'll just be gritting my teeth together the entire time like
NONE OF YOU ARE ACTUALLY PLAYING THE GAME, YOU'RE SITTING AROUND IN FORUMS THEORYCRAFTING "OPTIMIZED" BUILDS IN A PERFECTLY SMOOTH MATH-SPACE WITH IDEAL CONDITIONS, INFINITE RESOURCES, AND A DM WITH NO INTEREST IN DOING ANYTHING BUT RUNNING COMBAT ENCOUNTERS. CRITIQUE THE MATH ALL YOU WANT, YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT THAT THE NUMBERS THERE TO FACILITATE A FANTASY ADVENTURE STORY YOU'RE TELLING WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
-ahem-
Maybe it's because I've always been a drama kid or fully drunk the Critrole/D20 koolaid but I just can't get into the head of someone who engages with d&d from a "mechanics first" perspective. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE game mechanics, and I've amassed quite the horde of homebrew/3rd party content to help fine tune both my characters AND my campaigns to try and get what I want out of them but the only time I've had the impulse to optimize a character was seeking out a way for me to better express who they were through the lens of gameplay; Making sure the cocky sniper or duellist had the damage output to back up their boasting, or the failwizard had the right kind of "useless" spells sell the fact that they really were an apprentice in over their head while still having fun.
I suppose if you're the sort of chessbrained person who sees the rules as immutable and only prioritizes "wining" d&d would be a broken game, but then you'd be mistaking our fandom's vibrant storytelling engine for the lackluster tactical skirmish game WotC is intending on turning it into.
"You're losing blood" no I know exactly where it is. The floor. Don't ever underestimate me.
“Is your blood also off-the-rack?”
I would never survive if someone said that to me after trying that shit goodBYE
hey its me your immune system. looks like we caught somethin here. try sneezing real fast see if that gets rid of it. yeah no dice, huh... alright lemme try filling your lungs with fluid. no yeah i do it all the time dont worry works like a charm. hmmm... still no good... alright well just hold tight here for a minute maybe it just needs time to start working. in the mean time ill go fire up the ol' neuron cooker n see if that helps
HEY its me again. false alarm turns out it was just like pollen or somethin haha sorry i can be a little jumpy is all. ...hey man youre not lookin so good are you okay?




























